So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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