theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
