Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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