i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize