U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
