i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
