so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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