Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dudeyousuck hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

(503): View more from Oregon

Succeeded.

Fav 7 4898 910
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?

Fav 24 1029 3079
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

Fav 46 1113 3273
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.

Fav 22 932 4324
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

Fav 40 10051 1497
share tweet
(575): View more from New Mexico

is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?

Fav 63 3947 1377
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(316): View more from Kansas

So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That sounds dangerous

(316): View more from Kansas

Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.

Fav 9 4868 1249
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.

Fav 8 345 319
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.

Fav 1 8 48
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT