Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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