For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
