She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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