smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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