i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
