Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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