Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
