the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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