Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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