I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
