Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
