On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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