Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
