unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
