they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
