exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't think brook has ever known best
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
