i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize