tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
