found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
