Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
