I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
