ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
