Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
40s are totally the cure
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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