So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
