Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
