Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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