I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
