Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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