so that wasnt chicken after all
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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