Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
