The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
