so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
