Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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