I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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