I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
