I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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