it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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