Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize