Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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