My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
