Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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