I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
