that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
