He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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