bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
