Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize