Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
