Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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