It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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