JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All the doctor said was why
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize