if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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