Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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