she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize