In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
