Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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