I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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