we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
