omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
