i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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